


In Sync

by HyperKid



Series: Magic Lube Thursday [11]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AFAB Mollymauk, F in the chat for Fjord Tough, F/M, Fingering, Magic Lube Thursday, Menstruation, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Other, Sex ed without Artagan, Trans Male Character, and the tieflings are syncing, everyone but Fjord menstruates, gender euphoria, magic dick is still a dick, orgasms as cramp relief, trans!Caleb Widogast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: Jester and Molly’s periods sync, leaving both utterly miserable. Fortunately, they have a lovely wizard friend with Burning Hands ready to help them with some cramp relief.Which only works as long as only two party members are cramping at once.
Relationships: Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Molly, Caleb Widogast/Jester Lavorre/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caleb/Molly/Jester, Polynein, tiefling sandwiches - Relationship
Series: Magic Lube Thursday [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927072
Comments: 20
Kudos: 99





	In Sync

**Author's Note:**

> HK: For once, the title was easier than the summary?  
> Mollymauk: *snickering* You’ve had a couple good titles now.  
> HK: I really have. This one is a lil hard to summarise though, a lot happened.  
> Mollymauk: It almost wasn’t porn.  
> HK: Almost! But you know I could never resist sex ed with Artagan.  
> Mollymauk: Wasn’t it rather pointedly without him?  
> HK: *grinning* Archfey know their limits. Sometimes.  
> Mollymauk: And how much of this was just because you remembered that in this AU only Fjord doesn’t menstruate?  
> HK: Not gonna lie, about 85%. Haven’t decided if I’m going trans Caddy too to prolong his suffering but it hasn’t come up yet.  
> Mollymauk: You are a strange and delightful person.  
> HK: Look, everyone having human biology is boring, and I have a fun randomiser app.  
> Mollymauk: You’re certainly right there. Running out of good magic lubes though?  
> HK: TECHNICALLY this one is different from Essek’s (yup we’re going with “make you feel your toys) because you can use it on multiple people. And it doesn’t jizz for you.  
> Mollymauk: Technicalities, give me my heat lube!  
> HK: I’m gonna do repeats in the new year! I just need 2 new ideas to finish out 2020! October’s covered unless there’s a fun Halloween themed one.  
> Mollymauk: I mean, I’m technically dead. Ghosts could be a thing?  
> HK: This is the Neighbourhood Watch Committee here to remind you that necrophilia is still fucking illegal?  
> Mollymauk: Name a single time that has stopped me.  
> HK: Now. Right now. No ghost porn.  
> Mollymauk: Zombie porn?  
> HK: You are off the planning committee. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Menstruation, discussion of bodies, sex while bleedy, Caleb Widogast’s self loathing 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Critical Role, I wish I did, but I clearly cannot be trusted.

Jester sighed softly to herself, tucking her knees up to her chest and folding herself into a ball in the back of the cart. She could ~feel~ the cramps looming ahead like a thundercloud just waiting for her to relax. To stretch out. This was stupid, it wasn’t supposed to be happening already, she should have had another week! 

And she didn’t want to go bother Caleb. 

The wizard was taking a turn on horseback today and they’d only just set out. It would be selfish to get them all to reorder now. 

A twinge in her gut made her pull a face. Maybe she wouldn’t have as much as a choice about stopping the march. 

They’d all understand, probably, even if she knew Beau didn’t get period cramps. She knew Molly’s were pretty bad, Caleb’s had inspired him to create a milder version of Burning Hands just to soothe the pain, and... actually, she didn’t know if Nott got her period. Goblins were kinda weird and Nott in particular was always a little erratic, and it hadn’t come up in conversation. 

Poor Fjord was going to get used to it all pretty quick. Just the thought made her giggle, burying her face in her knees. The half orc had been the epitome of slightly terrified gallantry the first time her cramps had started unexpectedly and made sure she was comfortable. 

And he’d survived Molly already. 

Jester had to stuff a fist in her mouth to stifle her giggles, shoulders shaking. Molly had not told Fjord he menstruated. Or that it would likely be soon. No, Molly had kept quietly going about his business right up until Fjord’s keen half orc senses picked up a hint of blood. Apparently he’d asked if Molly was alright or just another ritual thing. 

Molly... 

Fucking Molly had sincerely told the poor warlock he’d been cursed. Told him it was an ongoing lament from a witch Molly had slighted, which sapped him of his energy and could not be cured. Fjord had been concerned enough that he’d come to ask Jester if she might be able to relieve a curse, at which point of course Molly broke down laughing. 

Said he’d take a cure if she had one, of course, but when she cheerfully reminded him pregnancy would do it he’d bowed out. 

Molly really was very smart. And very funny, their sense of humours meshed very well together. Another twinge of almost-pain shot through her, followed by just... a sudden hollow sadness. 

Arms wrapping tighter around her legs, Jester buried her face in her knees again and groaned. 

“You alright, love?” Molly’s voice came as though summoned by her thoughts, the other tiefling reaching out to nudge at her boot with his toes. 

Peeking her eyes up past her knees, Jester wondered for a moment if he’d come and cuddle her. It wouldn’t be quite as good as Caleb’s spells, but Molly ran hot anyway and honestly all she wanted was a cuddle. Maybe to cry. Just a little bit. 

Fighting back the urge, she was about to give Molly a cheery smile and generic answer when she just... stopped. 

What was the point? 

She felt miserable, and probably would for another couple of days while things ran their course. And Molly would understand; they’d spoken about it just last week when he was wrestling his way through cramps. Blowing her hair off her face, Jester rested her chin on her knees. 

“I’m cramping again. It sucks.” 

Molly made sympathetic noises and scooted around to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

“Aw, precious. Snack and a cuddle?” 

It hadn’t taken a leap of genius for any of the Nein to work out that Jester got cuddly when she got upset, no matter the reason. She leaned immediately into Molly’s touch. 

“It huuuuuurts, Molly...” letting the whine out felt good, even if she hated to do it. It felt like admitting weakness, but... she was allowed this weakness. It wasn’t only her, and Molly always validated her pain. 

Cooing softly to her the other tiefling let his hands fall to her hair to gently stroke. 

“I know love. Had my tail end this morning, I was thinking of asking for a cuddle myself.” 

That helped, and Jester perked up a little, snuggling into his side. Their tails tangled together on the boards, neatly wrapping around and around each other almost all the way up their lengths. 

“Periods are stupid,” she told him very seriously, pillowing her cheek on his shoulder. Molly gave her a quick squeeze and sighed dramatically, shrugging his coat off to drape it over both their laps. 

“They fucking are.” 

“If you two are syncing up I’m going to need more hands,” Caleb called from his horse, glancing into the cart. 

Molly’s brows furrowed. 

“If we’re what?” 

Coming to the same realization, Jester groaned and thunked her head back onto her knees. 

“Oh nooooo, we totally are! That’s going to ~suck~!” 

Still confused, Molly frowned around the rest of the group. 

“Seriously, that’s a thing?” 

Beau, equally puzzled, shrugged from her spot leading the cart. 

“Don’t look at me dude. Never knew anyone well enough to ask.” 

And up shot Jester’s head again, a sudden grin on her face. 

“Beau! Did you sync up with me already?” 

From his own horse, Fjord made a very quiet noise of discomfort and urged the beast on. 

“I’ll go scout ahead...” there wasn’t exactly much he could add to a conversation on menstruating. And while it would certainly affect the group... wasn’t exactly his place. 

Caleb’s lips twitched a little as he watched the half orc go. 

Lucky fucker. 

Beau wasn’t much more comfortable with the conversation either, shooting looks at Molly that were somewhat less than thrilled. She answered though, shrugging. 

“I think I’m due in about two weeks?” 

“That’s nearly the same! I was supposed to be next week,” Jester declared happily, clapping 

her hands and then slumping sideways as a stronger wave of cramps hit. “But they’re here todaaaaaaaaaay,” she whined, arms wrapping around her middle. 

Molly cooed softly to her, his larger hands covering hers and moving gently across his abdomen. He was so much warmer than her that Jester moved her own out of the way pretty much immediately. 

“Got all your padding?” He asked her gently, rubbing small circles across cramping muscles. 

A stream of small, hurting and grumpy noises falling from her lips, Jester nodded. 

“I found some blood this morning so they’re all in.” 

“I can give you a massage when we stop,” Caleb offered a little hesitantly, casting a quick glance around the road. There wasn’t another cart in sight, but they had a long way to go to reach their destination. 

Jester had already had the same thought and waved a hand at him, spilling sideways to curl in Molly’s lap. Rolling back just enough to rest her weight and warmth over his abdomen, just in case he needed some relief too. 

“I think I can hold out. I just hate it is all.” 

Casting a sympathetic smile over her shoulder, Beau nodded towards her pack. 

“I think I have one last donut somewhere in my bag if you wanna find it?” 

Instantly wide, beseeching lilac eyes turned up to Molly’s and he laughed, shaking his head. 

“Mind me going hunting Beau?” He called obediently, hand fluffing through bouncy blue curls. It was enough to make Jester smile even if it was a bit weak. 

Beau visibly considered it, brows pulling down into a frown as her gaze drifted from one tiefling to the other. The expression softened as it passed over Jester and she sighed, eyes back on the road. 

“If anything’s fucked with I’ll know who did it.” 

“Jester when she’s feeling better?” Nott offered from the other side. She’d been doing her best to work on her animal handling by riding the horses, and so far... she hadn’t been thrown or kicked? But yeah, it was a little reluctant to respond to her commands, and a little skittish with the constant scent of goblin behind it. 

It made riding more interesting, but that just meant she had something to pay attention to on long hours of boring road, so really it was a win. 

Unwilling to take her eyes off the road again so soon, Beau answered with a middle finger salute. 

“I’m gonna blame Molly anyway!” 

“I guess that means you have free reign,” the blood hunter teased, and Jester managed another weak giggle. 

Making a somewhat overdramatic show of it, Molly ruffled through Beau’s pack quickly to find the donut. All of the “ooh”s and “oh that’s interesting” were primarily for Beau’s benefit, but since she’d been expecting it she didn’t even glance back. He found the donut fast enough and Jester accepted the pastry with both hands, settling back against him. 

Quest accomplished, he let his hands fall to her hair again. 

“So all of our periods are going to sync up? That’ll be fun.” There was enough dry sarcasm in his voice to make the stale donut crinkle and Jester giggled, then frowned at Nott. 

“Actually, I don’t know if goblins do that?” 

“Menstruate?” The rogue asked, wrestling her horse alongside the cart to take a more active role in the conversation. “Yeah, it’s a thing. It sucks.” 

“No, no,” Jester waved a hand in her general direction, “I mean do you sync up. Cuz we know tieflings do, and humans and tieflings do, so at some point me, Molly, Caleb, and Beau are all gonna hit at once.” 

A very quiet sob was just audible enough from the front of the group that they could tell Fjord did it on purpose. A wicked grin on her face, Beau shrugged. 

“Maybe Yasha too, if she hooks up for long enough.” 

Another, louder whimper. 

Caleb had to fight a laugh. 

“Are you going to sync up too, Nott?” Jester asked, pressing through her original point. 

Nott frowned for a while, thinking about it. 

“I’m not sure? I don’t even know if I ever sunk up with Caleb, I didn’t know he did it at all.” 

“Some of us know how to suffer without drawing all the attention,” the human wizard pointed out as both tieflings rounded on him, cheeks flushed right to his ears. 

Of course, as expected, both immediately began dramatically proclaiming their woes, Jester almost losing her donut in her vehemence. Beau had to stifle her laughter when the cart almost went off the road, and it was Nott who brought things back around to the matter in hand. 

“I guess we’ll find out over time?” 

“Guess so,” Beau agreed, still snickering. “It’ll probably take a while. Me and Jester knew each other a whole month longer than the rest of you and we haven’t done it. I think tieflings just do it super fast.” 

Jester and Molly exchanged thoughtful looks. Neither had ever ~not~ been a tiefling, so it wasn’t like they’d actually know. 

A sly grin stole across Molly’s face. 

“Or it might be because we’re just so much closer,” he declared dramatically, sprawling himself across Jester’s lap this time. She reorganized herself with a minimum of grumbling, fingers curling easily through deep purple hair. 

Beau’s entire back stiffened but Jester cut in before she could as much as huff. 

“I dunno Molly, I’ve been preeeeeeeetty close to all of Beau’s parts too,” she snickered, shooting the monk a look from the corner of her eye. 

“That is also supposed to help with cramps,” Caleb cut in, whether to change the subject for Beau or just to share random knowledge... well, it didn’t really matter, because both tieflings leapt on it with all four limbs and tails. 

“Oh yeah! I don’t think I’ve actually tried that,” Jester said, one hand running down her stomach to rub sore muscles, “does it work?” 

“I have absolutely never heard that, but I’d love to help you try,” Molly teased from her lap, twisting carefully to kiss her fingers without gouging her legs with his horn. 

Up front, Fjord’s shoulders were visibly shaking, possibly from laughter despite the loud, affected weeping. 

Clearing her throat, Beau kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road. 

“It’s totally a thing, least for humans... but I can’t imagine fucking wouldn’t distract you from the rest?” It wasn’t ~quite~ an invitation, certainly not for Molly or Caleb, but... well, she had a contribution to make. 

Caleb’s eyes redirected to Fjord’s back, an innocent smile on his lips. 

“Perhaps that is how Fjord can help out,” he called, loud enough that the half orc wouldn’t be able to pretend not to hear, “because I will certainly not have enough hands for all of us!” 

Any comment Fjord would have made was instantly lost in Molly’s cackle of laughter. 

** 

Teasing Fjord about a menstrual orgy got them through most of the day. Even Beau joined in, though Nott made a disgusted face and went back to trying to befriend her horse. 

Still, they had to make a couple of extra bathroom breaks, and the evening found Caleb trapped by the fire as two tieflings dropped into his lap, each demanding a heated hand. The cantrip was easy enough to perform and he couldn’t help a slight smile as both flopped in unison with a pair of contented sighs as soon as the hand was applied. 

Jester squirmed closer, pressing his hand more firmly against her abdomen and trilling softly as heat melted away pain. 

“Man, Caleb, you should reeeeally charge for this service. EVERYONE should have a wizard for their cramps!” 

“And how much will you pay me?” Caleb teased with a small smile, spreading his fingers to cover as much as possible. Molly made an annoyed hum and he quickly closed the fingers on that hand, letting Molly direct where he wanted him. 

Pursing her lips, Jester leaned the back of her head against his shoulder to bat her lashes up at him. The angle was not what one might call super effective. 

“Like, fifty gold. A day.” 

“You don’t have three hundred gold,” Molly snickered from Caleb’s other side, laying down across the human’s lap. 

It was just a little worrying to Caleb how quickly he’d gotten used to being a portable heater. Might have been the touch starvation, if he was honest. 

Swatting at Molly’s face with her tail, Jester gave Caleb a saucy grin. 

“That’s fine, I can pay in trade! A night with me is totally worth three hundred gold,” she declared happily. 

Over kindling the fire, Fjord pointed a stick menacingly in their general direction. 

“If you three are gonna get on that again I’m gonna go to bed and you can make your own dinner,” he warned mock seriously.

“Oh that’s a good idea, we should just stop talking about it and ~go to bed~,” Molly grinned, laying so much inflection over the words that it tipped Jester sideways, “you can show us what three hundred gold will get.” 

“You need like, a thousand gold to even start bidding to see my mom,” the other tiefling giggled, arms wrapping around her waist over Caleb’s hand. 

“So perhaps you should also charge more,” Caleb mused, a small smile on his lips, “three hundred may not be enough for your talents.” 

About to say something probably self demeaning, Jester was cut off by another wicked grin from Molly. 

“Same question to you then, Caleb. How much would you pay for a night with our dear Jester?” 

Which was honestly the much more fun option. Watching the human blush to the roots of his hair was always entertaining, and just a little fascinating to the tieflings. He was so... pale. 

If they physically could make Yasha blush, they’d find a way to do it. 

For now though, Caleb was working very hard to find a place to look that didn’t involve meeting anyone’s gaze. Down was definitely out, what with Molly’s head in his lap, and Jester’s direction wasn’t even in question. Staring into the fire included Beau’s broad grin on the other side. 

He wound up staring straight up into the trees. 

“I... do not know enough about the industry to know what would be fair,” he mumbled, fixing his gaze on a particular late autumn leaf. 

Predictably his answer caused snickers around the fire, and Molly turned his attention to Jester. 

“I suppose you’ll have to give us a price breakdown,” he teased, and she swatted playfully at him. 

“It’s sort of more quality than quantity. Like, most people pay for time, but if you want to do something special that also costs extra. Mama would do sessions sometimes where people just came over to talk. They’d like, maybe fuck at the end of it, but that’d be the last twenty minutes of three hours,” she explained, hands waving to try and sketch her words in the air, “and then if they wanted her to peg them or something that’d be more.” 

“Wear and tear on the toys?” Beau asked with a glint in her eyes. 

“Not to mention prep and handling,” Fjord added, seemingly giving in to the group mood. 

“Exactly!” Jester agreed brightly, clapping her hands and shifting a little so she could keep gesticulating without accidentally smacking Caleb. “For the time you pretty much just get basic stuff like oral and heavy petting.” 

“Do different positions cost more?” Molly asked with a snicker, craning his neck so he could keep watching her. The other tiefling grinned down at him and tapped him gently on the nose. Then slipped the finger into his mouth. 

“Depending on how athletic they are.” 

“Could you please not flirt when you’re sat in my lap?” Caleb asked quietly, his cheeks burning almost as much as his hands. Jester pulled her finger from Molly’s mouth obediently, a sweet smile on her lips. 

“I’m just trying to help, Caleb... would you like a demonstration?” She leaned in, resting her chin on his shoulder and grinning up at him. He had to look away again, back up to the tree line. His hand shifted a little as he realised where it was, how close, but... well, he wasn’t going to pull away. 

He didn’t want to ruin her mood either, if the cramps weren’t bothering her at the moment. 

“I don’t know how you can be like this right now,” he mumbled almost to himself. 

Jester paused, close enough to hear the question, and cocked her head thoughtfully. 

“Welllllll... I’m not too sore right now, thanks to you? But if it’s bothering you I can stop?” 

Molly made a disappointed noise from Caleb’s lap and Jester shoved her finger back into his mouth, twisting enough that Caleb could see her face. She seemed to mean it, though how good she’d be at just turning off the flirting was definitely in question. Molly would too, he always did if asked, but... 

Cheeks still blazing hot, Caleb leaned forward enough to kiss the tip of her nose. 

“There’s no amount of gold that would be enough for you,” he muttered, hand pressing more firmly across her abdomen, and Molly let out a deeply fucked wolf whistle from around Jester’s finger. 

It kind of sounded more like a turkey vulture. 

Caleb, meanwhile, had the pleasure of watching Jester’s cheeks blush delicately purple, a broad smile spreading across sweet blue lips as she snuggled into him. 

“Aww, Caleb, you’re so sweet! I would never ask you to pay,” she declared happily, both her hands coming down to cover his and squeezing gently. 

**

Conversation strayed a little from there, food being eaten and watches chosen for the night. Jester and Molly were both excused because even if they couldn’t sleep, they weren’t in much condition to keep watch. It was a little hard to focus between the aches, and Jester had learned early on that Cure Wounds didn’t do anything to relieve it. 

Not that either of them would leave Caleb in much condition to take watch either, though he volunteered for the first shift so that he could keep up his cantrips on the tieflings. Nott glanced at the three, who hadn’t even unpuddled enough for Caleb to eat without knocking elbows, and volunteered to take it with him. 

She also pretty much immediately disappeared into the night, which made Molly snicker. 

“Think she thinks we’ll make sweet, dirty love to you?” He teased, tipping his head back on Caleb’s shoulder to grin up at him. Caleb snorted a laugh, rubbing a little more firmly across Molly’s abdomen. 

“In your condition? You’d have trouble making love to a doll,” he teased back. Molly did his best to fake great offence, but eating had fucked his stomach along with the cramps, and he soon found himself doubled over again. 

Not his best performance. 

On Caleb’s other side, Jester stifled giggles in his scarf. 

“I don’t know Molly, maybe if I suck you off you’d feel better?” 

Another day he might have responded with enthusiasm, or at least more than a weak smile. 

“Your mouth is always a blessing, sweets, but I doubt I could even get it up right now,” he told her wryly. 

Worry shaded across Jester’s features, giggles subsiding to a frown. 

“Still that bad?” Hers had spiked a couple of times in the course of the evening, but having Caleb’s near constant assistance had made a big difference. Then again, she also didn’t have any nausea yet, which she was going to count as a blessing from the Traveler. 

She fucking ~hated~ feeling pukey. 

Molly clearly felt the same, curled into a ball on the ground and letting out the occasional whine. Jester tangled her fingers through his hair, stroking gently. 

“Can you at least turn around?” She asked quietly, her concern rising as she glanced from Molly to Caleb. The wizard’s arm was twisted at what must have been an uncomfortable angle to give Molly access to his hand, but he didn’t seem about to do anything about it. 

Molly peeked up at her, followed her gaze to Caleb, and flopped weakly closer. 

“I miss Orna,” he grumbled, stuffing his face into the crook of Caleb’s knee, “she’d let me just collapse over one of her stupidly big cushions and just die.” 

“No dying,” Jester told him firmly, still petting him like a puppy. Molly grumbled something unintelligible into Caleb’s trousers and pushed up into her touch. 

Caleb made a soft sound, stroking gently across tightly clenched muscles as much as he was able. 

“If it would be better, you could lie across my lap?” He offered in a low voice, not wanting to bother the others as they settled to sleep. At first he thought the following muffled grumbles were a negative, but then Molly forced himself up again and closer, giving him a blurry frown. 

“Not crossed legs then. No point if I’m hurting you.” 

Which was a factor Caleb certainly hadn’t considered, but he straightened his legs obediently anyway. He didn’t need a lecture from two achy tielfings. 

Molly flopped over his legs like a dead fish the moment he had, wheezing a groan as his stomach lurched. 

“Everything sucks.” 

Jester shuffled closer, tucking her folded knees in under his head and continuing to pet his hair. It let Caleb reposition both of his arms more comfortably, wrapped around both of his companions. 

Nestling her cheek into his shoulder, Jester sighed. 

“Don’t you wish you could just like... spend an hour in the bathroom and just squish it all out at once like a really big poop?” 

Which was a weird enough question for Molly to bother raising his head to frown blearily at her. 

“I’ve honestly never thought about it before... but fucking ~yes~?” He said the last word so vehemently that Caleb couldn’t help the snicker. Jester grinned, tucking herself in closer. 

“I asked my mama once if I could scoop it out with a spoon. She told me not to but technically she didn’t say it wouldn’t work.” 

And that was weird enough to persuade Molly to flop all the way over so that he and Caleb could share a pointed look. Then he grinned. 

“Again, not a thought I’ve ever had, yet I am still tempted to try. I don’t know that it’d actually stop the cramping but I’m not the cleric.” 

Jester rolled her eyes and laughed, giving his horn a gentle nudge. 

“Being a cleric really doesn’t mean you know everything about bodies, Molly. The Traveler didn’t give me any like, diagrams or textbooks or anything.” 

“Did he give you the sex talk?” Caleb asked, mainly wondering aloud with just a hint of teasing. Neither were actually expecting Jester to burst out laughing loud enough to wake the sleepers. 

Clapping both hands immediately over her mouth, she rocked back and forth, doing her best to stifle her giggles. Molly watched her for a moment, then twisted again to give Caleb a pointed look. 

“I’m genuinely not sure if that’s a yes or a no.” 

Caleb stifled a snicker of his own and shook his head. 

“There is no way to know.” 

“I asked him once,” Jester squeaked, wheezing for breath between now mostly silent laughter. “He ran away!” 

It was Molly’s turn to muffle a snort. 

“He what?” 

“He ran away!” Jester whispered, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “He said something about “god business” and disappeared and didn’t come back for like... three months. And then he asked me if someone else had had the talk with me and I said no and he climbed out the window!” 

Caleb was beginning to get a distinct suspicion about where that story was going. They knew more than enough about Jester’s upbringing in this particular area. 

“And had they?” He asked, shifting his hand to relieve a little of the ache. Having the cantrip on did mean that his own hands got less stiff from being in a single position all the time, but it was still best to keep the blood flowing. 

The grin Jester shot him was pure chaos demon. 

“Of course. I asked Mama, and she and Bluud told me about like, all the puberty stuff, and protection and safe sex and things, and then one of the girls told me about anal.” 

Lips twitching into a grin, Caleb shook his head. 

“Then why did you tell him no?” 

“Because it was really, ~really~ funny watching him get so flustered!” Jester replied easily, stifling another giggle. “He sent me my first smut book.” 

That was too much for Caleb, who didn’t currently have a free hand to bury his laughter in. He had to duck his face into his scarf like a turtle, which set Jester off for yet more giggles. 

Settling himself more comfortably on his back, Molly tipped his head back to grin at Jester. 

“Trying to make sure you’d learn on your own?” He teased and Jester cackled into her hands. A few moments later her fingers parted enough for her to grin down at Molly. 

“I think so, but it was... really bad. Only from like, the technical perspective though? The story was reeeeeeally good and the romance was great, but there were like, three orgies in it and people kept doing _missionary_.” The stress on the last word broke her out into giggles again and Molly nearly followed, turning his head to bury his face in Caleb’s hip. 

“Missionary can be fun too,” Caleb muttered with his very best attempt at sounding serious, cheeks flushed from embarrassment and restrained laughter. The others were going to be annoyed they’d missed this conversation. 

Just the thought of Jester’s god diving out a window to avoid a conversation was... so very Jester. 

The tiefling in question snickered and reached up to poke his cheek. 

“Sure, sometimes, but when you’ve got like, six people, it’s super inefficient. It’s not even that great with three.” 

Molly hummed noncommittally, rolling back over and tucking himself up close to Caleb’s torso. 

“There’s more options with more people.” 

“More limbs,” Jester agreed, tucking in closer as her hand dropped to his hair again. She dug her nails in just a little as she stroked across his scalp and he moaned happily, pushing into her touch. 

Caleb’s cheeks flushed and he squirmed just a little, which of course caught immediate attention. Jester snickered and raised her other hand to stroke his hair too, fingers curling through thick ginger strands and tugging ever so gently. 

“Should we not be talking about this in your lap either?” She teased in a low purr, lips brushing the shell of his ear. 

The wizard shot her a Look, but there wasn’t a hint of fire in it. Down below Molly snickered too, his own hands stroking “innocently” across Caleb’s thighs. 

“Perhaps you could tell us a story, Jester?” He asked, a beacon of innocence. Caleb would have glared at him but he still wasn’t sure where the conversation was going. Where he wanted it to go. 

The other tiefling hummed sweetly, plastering herself to Caleb’s side while she kept playing with both of her hair. She was clearly feeling better, good mood fully restored, and really that alone was enough to keep going. Not for what he was certain was going to be a smutty story. 

Nope. 

Just to make her feel better. 

They’d already established something else that would make them both feel better. Caleb was trying not to think about it. 

“Wellll,” Jester purred, apparently considering what kind of story to tell, “shall we say that the Traveler was much more into... practical lessons?” 

Molly’s head shot up, a broad grin spreading across his face. 

“You fucking didn’t,” he refuted cheerfully, and Jester laughed. 

“Of course I did! Don’t be silly, Molly. But yeah, it was actually really hard to get laid at the Lavish Chateau at first? Everyone knew who I was and a lot of them knew me when I was a baby. Even a lot of the new people were scared like they’d get in trouble if we did anything. The Traveler was kinda the only person who wasn’t scared of me.” 

“Just scared of giving you sex talks,” Molly snickered and Jester gave his hair a quick tug. She was grinning too though. 

“We’d sneak around sometimes and peek in on people, and sometimes we’d do pranks on them. And then one day I asked if he’d teach me how to suck a dick.” 

“To see if he jumped out the window again?” Caleb asked, stifling a laugh. Jester gave his hair a gentle tug too, still grinning. 

“Pretty much. But we stole one of Mama’s pretty crystal toys, and he showed me how to like, use my tongue, and playing with the head and stuff, and then he gave me this little bottle and said if I used it on my own with the crystal dick I could see how it felt for myself.” 

That was enough to pull both of the others up, Molly even bracing a hand on the ground so he could meet her eyes properly. 

“He gave you ~what~?” 

“Do you still have it?” Caleb’s cheeks flushed scarlet as two pairs of tiefling eyes snapped straight to him, identical grins spreading across fanged mouths. 

He stood by the question though. Molly would have gotten there himself in time. 

And Jester looked almost proud as she cackled, leaning and flailing and reaching for her pack, not really caring when Beau swore sleepily at her. A quick rustle later and she dropped a little vial in Caleb’s lap, bouncing off Molly’s shoulder. The urge to drop both tieflings and snatch up his books, to identify the stuff was intense but he managed to resist. 

“Not the same bottle,” Jester explained in a whisper, “but when I was leaving he gave me some more to cheer me up!” 

Molly obligingly scooped the vial up, holding it where Caleb could see it. 

“Alright, now tell us the sexy story between him giving it to you to use on your own and you luring him into your bed,” he prompted in an equally hushed voice, examining the bottle from all angles. 

The cleric snickered, snuggling back up to Caleb’s side. 

“Well of course I tried it, and it was... really weird? But it was lots of fun, and I mucked about with it a little more. And then the next time the Traveler came by I asked if he’d show me some more things, and he said okay, so I did like Bluud said and kicked his legs from under him and beat him to the floor.” 

Molly had to scoot back to be able to press his face into the crease of Caleb’s hip to muffle his laughter. The wizard himself had his lips pressed so tightly together they’d become a thin white line, shoulders shaking with suppressed giggles. 

“That is not an especially sexy story,” he pointed out in a whisper, voice strained with the effort of quiet. He probably should have expected the way Jester grinned at him, hand sliding from Molly’s hair down into his lap. 

“The sexy part comes next, if you really want it. We could act it out on Molly here, if he can keep quiet.” 

“You’re gonna have to fucking gag me,” Molly hissed, still wracked with giggles, which at least marked a definite improvement over being wracked with pain. He wiped a tear from his eye, shooting Jester a broad grin. “Never change, sweetheart.” 

“Never will,” she agreed cheerfully, leaning down to give him a kiss on the horn. Then she gave Caleb a sly look through her lashes. “You know, the oil works on more than one person at a time.” 

The others stilled, implications of those words dawning slowly in their minds. A broad smile spread slowly across Molly’s face. 

“All of us at once?” He asked, eager as a child with a Winter’s Crest present. Caleb had to fight a laugh, shaking his head and giving them both a squeeze. 

“You two were too sore to do anything a minute ago,” he pointed out mock chidingly. Regretted it a moment later when Jester grinned at him. 

“Aww, are you volunteering to do all the work? That’s so sweet Caleb!” 

“He’s a giving soul,” Molly agreed with a blatantly false solemnity, grinning all over his face. 

Leaning back over, Jester snatched up her haversack and began rooting through it again. Fully aware of what she was looking for, Caleb considered another protest. 

They’d stop if he properly asked them to. They always did, at any time, for any reason. He should tell them to stop. He was at least nominally on watch, and their friends were sleeping all around them. 

Neither tiefling was really up to moving any further away, not when they were warm and comfy. There were a million reasons to put a stop to this right now, not least what Beau’s reaction would be if she found out. 

She’d be furious she didn’t get to try it too. And Caleb really, really, really wasn’t ready for that step in their friendship. 

But Jester probably had enough for more than one use. 

And it would help. 

And fuck it, his own magical interest had been peaked right alongside his libido and it sounded intriguing. 

He’d have thrown both hands into the air if they hadn’t each been thoroughly claimed for continuous cantrips. His moral dilemma lasted less time than it took Jester to stuff her hand in her bag, rifle for a moment, and pull out the specific toy she wanted. It wasn’t crystal, not so large nor so heavy, and he was a little grateful for that. 

He’d volunteered to do most of the work, and it’d likely be with his mouth. 

She held up the toy, one of her slimmer dildos made of a soft, supple material he still wasn’t quite used to. It could be fully sterilized, which was all that truly mattered. 

“How about this one?” She asked softly, her gaze only now darting to their friends around the fire. 

If she chickened out he was going to bite her. 

Molly seemed to be sharing the sentiment, pushing up in Caleb’s lap enough to butt her arm. 

“Looks perfect, sweets. Now how about you work a little magic?” He prompted with a leer, holding up the small vial for her to take. 

Fjord made a low grunt in the back of his throat from the other side of the fire. Rolling away to turn his back on them. Probably not fully asleep, not this early. Molly’d nag him later for just what he’d heard. 

It seemed to decide Jester anyway as she took the vial, popping it carefully open and running a line along the toy with one finger. 

“It needs a little bit of essence from everyone who’s going to feel the sensations,” she explained in a whisper, squirming in her seat as her excitement grew, “something to bind you to the spell. For me and Molly I guess it should probably just be spit right now, but your own lube will work too. And I gueeeeess it’s easier for us all to lick it.” 

She sighed as if heavily put upon and held up the toy to Caleb’s mouth. He had to fight back the urge to laugh, but obediently licked the shiny line. Molly was already craning up for a turn when Jester poked the tip into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks to suck dramatically, shifting just enough in Caleb’s lap for the wizard to feel his rising interest hot and hard against his thigh. 

Jester thrust the dildo in and out of Molly’s mouth a couple times just for fun, then brought it to her own lips for a quick lick. 

“I’ve never done three with this stuff before,” she admitted with a low giggle, squirming in delight as she surveyed the toy. Checked the vial was sealed and safely back in her bag. 

Neither of her companions heard the activation word she whispered over the crackle of the fire. Wouldn’t have known she’d said it at all except for the sudden shock of sensation when she popped the head back into her mouth. 

Molly bit Caleb’s thigh, fangs sinking straight through filthy trousers with the effort of keeping silent. Which would have been counterproductive if it had shocked the swear words he was holding back free. Luckily Caleb managed to choke it back to a strangled hiss, and a giggling Jester covered his mouth with a hand. 

“I guess it works!” She whispered happily, eyes gleaming bright with reflected fire and mischief. Sucking in a ragged breath, Molly unlatched his jaw from Caleb’s leg and strained over enough to bite her thigh instead. 

“Wicked tease.” 

Caleb sucked in a shaky breath, voice hoarse with the combined sensation, magic, and yeah, the thrill that they could be caught at any time. Nott could be watching them right now. Not that they were doing anything visibly or overtly sexual... up until Jester rubbed the head of that slim toy against his lips. 

“Maybe I should gag you with this?” She teased in a sultry purr, pressing ever so lightly. Meeting her gaze, Caleb let his mouth open, slowly sucking the head in. 

More prepared for it this time, all three managed to keep quiet through the slow suction and flush of heat between their legs. It was... well, Caleb was enjoying the toy they had now, but all he could think about was the possibilities. 

It was hard to focus on the fact that he was doing the sucking, when all he could feel was the wet heat of his own mouth. To enjoy Jester slowly fucking his face with the toy, short, sweet thrusts that slowly grew deeper, when his own tongue played a line of want up his cock. 

When he knew the other toys Jester had in that damn bag, beautifully curved and lined cocks that she could slot into that fucking _harness_ , and it would _fit him_ , and he could use just a little of this oil and a little of his own spit and he could fuck her. Could feel her or Molly clench around him, their hot, wet, gorgeous bodies opening so easily for his cock. 

_His_ cock. 

He’d never wanted anything so badly in his life. 

Oh, of course he’d always known magic had a plethora of options to make it happen. So many spells to change a body, even if none were as permanent as Nott needed. As he’d... as Molly might want some day, as if Molly had the slightest insecurity about his body. 

Easier to entertain that impossibility than the idea that he could deserve it for himself. 

But that had always been the future, so far away as to not be worth worrying about when he had either squirming tiefling in his lap. When he could fuck them perfectly well with fingers and lips and tongue and all those wonderful toys Jester carried. This was here, now, achievable. 

He couldn’t remember ever getting so wet so fast. There’d be yet another stain on his trousers tomorrow, he was sure of it. Maybe two, Molly still rutting against his thigh even as he moaned into Jester’s lap. 

And oh, yes, oh maybe he didn’t have to wait until next time. Maybe Molly would be up for it, would let him, and it wouldn’t be half as good as seeing it in the harness, knowing it was _his_ and in place and letting him roll his hips to thrust, but he could feel himself sink slowly into Molly. 

Caleb’s jaw slackened at the thought and he drew back a little, Jester whimpering softly even as she pulled the toy away. She was breathing more heavily too, her cheeks flushing almost to Molly’s usual lavender, and she’d shifted til she was sat on her ankle now, able to grind on her own boot. 

“What is it,” she gasped in a whisper, her fingers curling around the toy as the cold night air breezed across, and they all felt that too, extra stark after the heat of Caleb’s mouth. 

Panting for breath himself, Caleb slipped his hand from beneath Molly’s abdomen and around to tug gently at the back of his trousers. 

“I can... I can reach, Molly, if you want, if you’d like... if you need more...” he couldn’t say it. Right to the wire and he felt such a coward but he just couldn’t say the words. Couldn’t ask. His voice was already tight with strain and he just couldn’t force the words out. 

Let me fuck you. 

It didn’t matter that all three of them would feel it. Didn’t matter that Molly’d be feeling double, and maybe Jester would be jealous, and maybe he’d like that for himself some time too. 

This felt so, so, so much more intimate, so entirely new. Caleb Widogast had begged the same a thousand times, all three of his lovers taking so much pleasure in hearing him moan for more. He’d asked to be fucked, begged Molly to fuck him a thousand times. 

He shouldn’t be this tongue tied. 

Molly barely seemed to fucking notice, raising his hips immediately to tug his trousers down the tops of his thighs. 

“Oh fucking gods yes,” he groaned, barely a whisper, tail rising to expose himself to the air. 

Caleb didn’t even consider why Molly was so damn wet as he slipped the first finger in. Why he was already soaked. As if any of them weren’t squirming for it already. 

Jester pressed the toy into his hand immediately, pressing herself as close to him as she could. It’d be so easy to pass it off, get this hand back on her and slide it just a little lower, cup her through her skirt and see if he couldn’t find her clit to rub. Couldn’t please both of them at once, be good enough, know how damn happy he’d made the pair of them. 

Her breasts were shoved right up against his arm, her whole body molded to him, and she’d still have a hard time reaching across him to Molly. Molly who’d buried his face in her lap, and okay that’d be a problem if Caleb wanted to fondle her too. 

Best to just fucking do it. 

His hand was almost shaking as he withdrew, ignoring the iron smell of blood. As he got the toy into position, a finger guiding it back to Molly’s almost dripping entrance and slowly pushing in. His jaw clenched with the effort of silence and he couldn’t help a wave of jealousy as Molly stifled a moan in Jester’s thigh. 

Then a cool blue hand was on his chin, turning his face back to her and he couldn’t see well enough to watch it slide into Molly anyway, and then Jester was kissing him hot and hungry and he jerked the toy in the last few inches and swallowed her whimper with a rush of pride. 

Molly was rutting against his thigh now, back onto the dildo and forward to rub his cock to Caleb’s pants. Without Molly’s trousers in the way, Caleb could feel each of the little metal bars pierced through the underside pressing into skin. Could feel a sticky bead of precome smeared from the head. 

He couldn’t slow down, now that he’d sped up. Couldn’t stop thrusting it fast, deep, tiny shallow increments that were almost frictionless between the size of the toy and how wet Molly was. Hell, Caleb’s pants might have a new bloodstain tomorrow, and none of the Nein would have any doubt where it came from. 

He’d survive Beau’s fake gagging. 

He wrapped his other arm around Jester’s waist, holding her tight and close as she ground against her own boot, kissing him hungrily. Changed his mind, groped up to her chest and knew he’d chosen right when she yanked the front of her dress down, exposing her tits to the cold night air. The cold never bothered her anyway. 

Caleb couldn’t grind with the position he was in, couldn’t so much as hump up against Molly in his lap, but it didn’t seem to matter. Blood and slick dripped down his fingers, the dildo almost hard to grip now as he kept going. It wasn’t long enough to really split Molly open, certainly not compared to Fjord. 

But that just made the movement effortless. Made it easy to fuck him faster and faster, getting lost in that heat and wet and the feeling of slick dripping down his cock. They didn’t have time for anything slower, any kind of teasing or careful stretching, and Molly sure as shit wasn’t complaining. He was sensitive, he and Jester both, already on edge and tail coiling around itself to stop from grabbing onto Caleb’s arm. 

The wizard tore himself away from frenzied, messy kisses to bury his face in Jester’s cleavage, biting and sucking marks into her tits and had the great pleasure of hearing her stuff half her hand in her mouth to muffle a loud moan. A little payback for before. She was shifting faster now, the hand not silencing herself wrapped firmly in his hair to hold his head against her. 

Caleb was more than happy to comply, smushing his face into yielding boob and mouthing his way along to her nipple. Wished he had a tail himself, so he’d have something free to grab Molly’s cock and jerk him off, feel those wonderful piercings now dripping precome. 

Felt a sudden spurt of wet heat splatter across his thigh, a gush over his fingers, and knew he didn’t need to. Jester was whimpering above him, both hands clasped tight in his hair as Molly pulsed and spasmed around their shared cock. 

Riding high now, almost transcendent, Caleb couldn’t have stopped if his life had depended on it. Not even when Jester’s back arched, her whole body shuddering as she came too. Not as Molly collapsed to a boneless puddle across him, hips twitching feebly as Caleb just kept going. 

It was so good, so right, that beautiful blur of motion and need and knowing he’d been so, so good for them. That he was still making them feel good, feeding all three that wonderful magical penetration. 

Jester came again next, her grip in his hair suddenly painful as she yanked, tearing him from her chest and up for another hungry, demanding kiss. Caleb was barely aware of his own body anymore, obediently following her lead, everything he had focused on that soft, soaked toy hammering into Molly. 

Molly who was whimpering into Jester’s hip, cock jerking as it didn’t even soften before the next rise. The next sudden, rushing orgasm, another feeble jet of come staining Caleb’s trousers. 

For a heady moment, Caleb almost wished he could have Jester mount his other thigh. Could have her mark him too, her come soaking through to his skin, so he could really feel her and know what he’d done. He didn’t really notice when he’d come himself, or how many times. 

It’d involve sitting on Molly’s fucking head though, and honestly with the padding she’d have to strip down, and at that point he might as well just have fucked her too. 

And she’d have teased him about a bath again, bother him to get his clothes washed. There were plenty of other marks she could leave on him, and Molly too if he asked nicely. Things a little more intimate and a little more lasting than a few stains. 

Gradually he slowed his pace, not sure if he could just suddenly stop, even as the spell began to fade. Sensation lessened and slowly, gradually, Molly and Jester melted in against him. Caleb would have melted too if it wouldn’t have toppled the lot of them over. 

He felt almost drunk. Heady and utterly blissed out, a kind of satisfaction that was almost euphoric thrumming through his veins. 

Proud. 

He was proud of himself, of what he’d done for them. More than just his heated cantrips, both tieflings seemed happy, content and pain free as they snuggled close. Just like giant slutty cats. 

Not a trace of discomfort showed on either face even as Caleb carefully eased the dripping toy from Molly. The tiefling just made a soft, sleepy noise and curled closer, burying his face in Caleb’s stomach now and not caring it shoved his stomach and shirt through his own mess. 

Jester managed a sleepy giggle, leaning over Molly’s head to yank his trousers back up but the blood hunter didn’t bother to move. Caleb stifled a snicker. 

“You’re going to be a mess in the morning,” he commented softly and Molly just hummed back. Jester giggled again, giving him a quick slap on the ass. 

“If you sleep with your pants down bugs will crawl in your butt.” 

Molly flipped her off but still didn’t move, curled around Caleb like a child with his favourite toy. Just like Frumpkin curled around the wizard’s neck. It took a bit of contortion for Caleb to reach enough to tug his trousers the rest of the way up without moving Jester, and Jester was only moving as far as strictly necessary to help. 

It didn’t matter though. Nothing could have shifted the soft, warm cloud Caleb felt wrapped in, almost more blissed out than Mollymauk. 

Oh, he’d fucked both tieflings a dozen times now, and he wasn’t foolish enough to say only penetration counted, or that it was somehow a different class. But... it was different, if only for him personally. It had been with his hand more than his hips, nothing like having his own actual, physical cock to use, but... 

He’d felt Molly come around him. Felt it like he was sheathed to the root in that glorious body. Felt Molly open for him, worked wide by his cock, and it felt incredible. And now that he knew Jester had it... 

A moment of panic flashed through him, that she might not want to waste any more of such a potent spell on him. That she wouldn’t care enough to let him use it again. That he’d come so close, had a taste, but would still be back to nothing. 

It wasn’t even as if he fucking liked topping but the sheer fact he’d have the choice... 

His heart pounded in his throat, blood rushing in his ears. He forced himself to breathe. To be calm. 

Even if Jester didn’t want to share again (and she shared everything, always, it was stupid to doubt her but he just couldn’t help it), he knew about this potion now. They made enough fucking money; Pumat could probably recreate it, or tell him where to get more. 

He’d have options. Choices. Ways more accessible until he could learn some of those new spells he’d been studying. 

Shifting to settle himself a little more comfortably, Jester snuggled closer, pillowing her head on his shoulder. Molly made a gentle noise of protest as one of her sleeves draped across his face and Caleb moved it carefully. 

“We’re gonna have to do this again,” Jester sighed happily, muffling a yawn in Caleb’s coat. 

The wizard’s heart nearly stopped again, his arm stiffening as he wrapped it around her. She could have meant anything; just the sex, the exhibitionism, the toys. But... with the opportunity to ask... 

“Your magic oil?” He rasped, hoping she’d think his voice was still harsh with orgasm. 

If she did notice anything, she made no sign of it, slipping gradually down his body until she was nudging Molly aside for part of his lap. The other tiefling grumbled sleepily at her but moved to make space. 

“Definitely that too,” she agreed with a stifled yawn, draping her other sleeve and cape over herself. “I’ve got all kinds of things we can use it with. I can’t believe I forgot about it when we first got the harness.” 

Well. 

That explained a lot. 

Caleb fought a smile, settling his back more firmly against his pack. He’d have to stay up to finish his watch with Nott, of course. And find a suitable way to thank her. 

It was an effort to even ask, but with the opportunity dropped right in front of his face, it’d be even harder to forgive himself if he didn’t. 

“Perhaps... I could use it with the harness?” He was sure she’d say no, sure she’d ask, sure lightning would strike from the sky and break the damn bottle. It’d be his fucking luck. 

Jester just gave a sleepy, happy hum, twisting enough to press a kiss to his stomach. 

“I’d like that,” she sighed, one hand coming up to twirl through Molly’s hair. 

Already half asleep, this time Molly ignored her. 

His heart soaring, weightless with relief and hope and a soft, almost ecstatic happiness, Caleb stroked his fingers gently through her hair. 

“Whenever you like,” he promised softly. As if it wasn’t something he craved. As if he could be worth using such a rare, precious gift on. 

Caleb’s lips quirked into a smile as he raised his head, gaze shifting across their small campsite and into the darkness beyond. If it came to proving his worth... well. Jester and Molly were creative certainly, utterly wild and wanton. 

He could think of so, so many ways to please them. His hands were good for more than cantrips after all. 

** 

No one mentioned anything out of the ordinary as they packed up the next day, ready to move on. Jester’s cramps were back of course, making her huff and pout and sigh, but Molly at least seemed much better. 

Both tieflings were back in the cart as their journey resumed, this time with Fjord taking the reins while Beau scouted ahead. Caleb still felt like he was floating as he mounted up, despite the frost scattered across the ground. 

They needed fucking tents. Hell, they needed better fucking sleeping bags as winter drew in; Jester may not use one at all but the rest of them were going to need more. Caleb and Nott had always made do with a fire, but Caleb had spent several winters sleeping rough now and, more importantly, now it was not just his own comfort at stake. 

He had a couple of magical ideas in that direction too, a few more spells he was working on, but as always... he needed more paper. More time. More power. It was hard to settle on priorities when he had so many things that he needed to achieve. 

Something to keep the party warm on the road was pretty high on the list at the moment. Faster transportation would be wonderful, but those kinds of spells were far above his current level. 

That was changing quickly though. His experiences with the Mighty Nein (and the amount of gold he could now spend on paper) were shaping him, helping him to grow and develop by the day. They were all changing, the longer they were together. 

Conversation stayed light that day, deliberately away from the more lascivious topics of the day before. Molly kept Jester distracted from her pain by braiding her hair, Nott joining the pair of them in the cart to help braid flowers into it. 

It also meant she could pinch Molly every time he got flirty, which did nothing but encourage him to tease her more. Between the two of them bickering, the rest of the Nein were pretty easily entertained for most of the day. May have been why they did it. May have been just blowing off their own steam. 

It felt... good. Less travelling as a group for protection and more just being with friends. Their goals aligned, at least for now, and there was a lovely, relaxed feel to the air as they set up camp. Chatted. Got to really know one another, and got used to how they fit together. 

They even stopped torturing Fjord with threats and promises about what they’d do if everyones’ periods synced. Molly was all for going to the baths and just staying for the week. It was a pretty good plan, and Fjord was more than happy to fetch food, drink, or whatever was needed. 

Anything that wasn’t being Beau’s personal punching bag, or Nott’s more horrifying and possibly apocryphal tales of buckets of blood. Jester’s plan to devolve things into an orgy would definitely affect which bath houses they could consider. 

The only sure thing was that if it did ever happen, they were gonna need a lot more gold. 

***

The next town they stopped in, no one questioned it when Fjord went to the bar and disappeared for half an hour. Not until he came back with a brawny young woman and a broad grin. The woman also looked distinctly amused as she glanced around the table, immediately zeroing in on Beau. 

“You Beauregard?” She asked, her voice a silken purr. 

Stunned speechless, Beau nodded. Setting down his round of drinks, Fjord tipped her a wink. 

“Jus’ told her I knew a hapless disaster in need of a strong woman for some cramp relief,” he said innocently and Beau immediately snapped out of it to scowl at him. 

“MOTHERFUCKER that was like a week ago!” 

“You said you were due soon,” Jester pointed out with a giggle barely hidden by her hand. 

The large woman held out a hand, still grinning down at Beau. 

“Figured I just ~had~ to hear the story of why you’ve got a half orc boy pimping for you, if nothing else. Can I buy you a drink?” 

The look Beau shot Fjord was pure venom, but she took the hand immediately and rose. 

“I’ll fuckin’ get you,” she growled and Fjord raised both hands, his expression pure angelic innocence. 

“I said I’d do whatever I could to help, Beau.” 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: I’m gonna gather these in a collection and pretend I understand how this site works, but seriously! Any ideas for Magic Lube Thursday, from magic lube to ships you’d like, hit me up!


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